had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
