worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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