Apparently you make a good broom.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
