we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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