Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My vagina just recognized that song.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
