I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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