addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
