your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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