Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
