just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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