Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
