Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
