You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
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