At least make sure they are 18
Why
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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