i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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