i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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