She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
