i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Every concussion has its silver lining
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
