some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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