i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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