so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
