Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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