Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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