No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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