Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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