Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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