Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
