I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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