Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
