dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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