I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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