When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
