he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
