I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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