the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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