I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
