its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
