Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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