She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
