I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
