if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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