Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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