sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
be right there i have to get my cape
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
