i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
