i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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