You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
