Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
