I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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