Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
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