I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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