How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
