Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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