did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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