is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
