Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
