I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
