just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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