I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
