Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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