I'm lost and stupid without you.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
