you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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