Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
