Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
