so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize