We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
