Sry I called you an 8
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
