why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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