new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
