woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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