I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
