Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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