So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
