dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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