Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
