I want to make a zoo with you.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
