Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just blew my weed a kiss
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
