I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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